Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Do you have to nail everything down before a ';friend'; comes over?

I have a relative that comes over and it seems like after she leaves theres something missing, it's petty stuff but when I go to use it its gone, and its just so agravating, like nail polish, hand held nail buffer, i even had a fairly new box of straws and when she left i had about a quarter of that left... i'm not cheap, if she asked i would gladly buy anything she needed....








I don't want to confront her it will just start an uproar in the family and you really cant prove it anyway, WHAT can i say in a round about way ( act dumb) to let her know i know what shes doing but not come right out and say it.....Thanks for your thoughtsDo you have to nail everything down before a ';friend'; comes over?
The same thing happens to me when my daughter comes to visit. If you want to bring it to her attention but not in an acusing way...try saying something like...';.Hey...last time you were her...did you see (whatever is missing)?....I cant remember where I put it...but I do know it was here before you came. ..Maybe I've just misplaced it.';


This will let this person know that you are aware of things missing and maybe it will stop.


I'm sorry for you being in this position...I know how hard it is....Good Luck !!Do you have to nail everything down before a ';friend'; comes over?
Just say it in a nice way Aunt if you would like to borrow things you can and just return them to me in the middle of a conversation with her.
Your aunt is probably a kleptomaniac and needs professional help. Talk to other family members, you are probably not the only one who experiences this. If it is happening to others, stage an intervention. It could help your aunt realize that she needs to see a professional and her behavior is not normal.
No, everyone of my friends and family members are completely trustworthy
She sounds like she has kleptomania. This is an illness and I bet if you ask other family members that she has visited they'll say that they too notice things missing after she's visited.


You could also approach it lightheartedly and act like you have a huge memory problem enlisting her input into where you could have left that darn thingmajiggie.





http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kleptomania
I'd let her know that everytime ';someone'; comes over stuff comes up missing, and that you are narrowing it down. Or you can just be blunt and tell her, look, everytime you come over stuff comes up missing, if you can't respect me and my house then don't come in it anymore.


What's your family gonna do? Blame you for keeping a thief out of your house? Let them have her to their houses then.


My rule is, u lie, steal, or do drugs in my house, u get no second chance. If they can't respect me then they don't get it from me either.
That's sad, I just wouldn't invite her over anymore.
Your relative may have a serious problem. Kleptomania. Maybe you should discuss this with a trusted family member and see if they have had similar experiences with her. If. so someone she trusts needs to have a talk with her. It doesn't take much for this to move into ';shop-lifting'; if it hasn't already. For people like that it is not that they ';need'; whatever they're taking, its the thrill of taking it and getting away with it. Do you really believe your aunt needed straws? She needs help.
I would ';plant'; an item. Tell a family member the situation~





Take a photo of it in your hand and make it clear its in your home with the marks and the reciept.





Go to the dollar store and buy a little tricket and make a mark with permanent red marker on the inside and leave it out for the snatching.





Than confront her. About the missing family a heirloom.


Good luck.
When you notice things ask about them...have you seen my nail buffer? Do you know if I have an straws left? I get your drift...it always starts as petty stuff, if you don't notice them they could eventually take more like money etc. I would say something...
Tell another family member and see if the same thing happens to them. I would not invite the person over any more. That is rude and she obviously has no respect for you. Don't wait around for people to tell you what to do, take action!

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